Cortez Johnson

Tick tock
Tick tock
I Can't seem to beat this clock
Depression is a constant pounding
A knock, Knock, Knock
It's sounds when I'm feeling stressed
So basically I'm perpetually pressed
Tick Tock
I'm Stuck between a hard place and solid rock
I'm lost in the ocean no place dock
I did what y'all told me
Dropped that anchor like it was the key
But the game's rigged: there ain't even a lock
Tick tock
I'm counting down to depression
Overwhelmed by what I've been suppressin
Guess I never learned my lesson
Tick tock
I'm Feeling dismissed,
Unloved,
Only touched by The scars on my wrists
I'm Sinking further into the abyss
My double consciousness ain't fixin this!
Tick tock
But I Can't let them see I'm drowning
Need to Fix my face
Gotta win this race
Gotta make my case
Gotta Stay straight lace
But
I
Can't
keep
pace
Tick Tock
I'm falling behind
Going out my mind
Can't rewind
There's no God damn time!
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
My head ain't
but my Tank is empty
I said
My heart ain't,
But my words are empty...
Oh I see
Y'all ain't got no sympathy
Tick Tock
Y'all ain't got no empathy
Tick Tock
Indifference stings like a thousand bees
Tick Tock
guess it's just me
Guess I'm crazy
Tick Tock
Or is it
I'm just lazy
But Don't worry
Tick Tock
Doc says he'll give me a chemical lobotomy
Prescribe a remedy
Before I stir up a frenzy
My Times up;
Tick Tock
time to erase me.
Gotta be quick
Say something and make it stick
Tick Tock
Let's take a deep dive inside my head
Haven't left my bed
For 2 weeks
Guess I'm too weak
Prognosis is looking bleak
Tick Tock
Feel myself starting tweak
Guess I really did peak
Tick Tock
Next time, I'll remake myself in your image
A better image
A brighter image
A whiter image
Tick Tock
Trying to look for safety
I'll join your community
Seeking total anonymity
I'll get lost in the ambiguity
Tick Tock
But This white mask aint hiding my black body
This fake smile ain't foolin nobody
Tick Tock
So I fall flat
Guess that's that
Tick Tock
They say it takes strength to accept the things I cannot change, I disagree
Sounds a whole lot like complacency
Submitting to some Colonial supremacy
One way ticket straight to mundanity.
I'm done with Serenity
Tick Tock
Broken prayers don't mend this kind of Melancholy
Tick Tock
The pills provide a temporary solution
how can I explain? I'm not high...
I'm actually feeling pretty low.
The Meds mess with my flow
Tried praying y'know you never know...
I tried crying but these feelings just won't go
Tick Tock
Your pity highlights my isolation
I don't need help, I need absolution
Can anyone relieve this hurt in me?
Instead I get your apathy
that Meaningless I'm sorry....
Tick Tock
Your silence brings only condemnation
Is it entertaining? Did I win?
I didn't know I was up for consideration.
My ignominy is a special kind of humiliation
Tick Tock
So unlike this depression,
I think I'll fade away... nothing more than an apparition.
Tick Tock
No time left for deliberation
Tick To--
Nah you don't deserve a resolution...